


It Was My Fault

by ohhitsanna



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abused! Stiles, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Human, Blackouts, Blood, Broken Stiles, Derek Gets Arrested, Derek Goes To The Hospital, Derek Helps Stiles, Derek Punches People, Derek Takes Care Of Stiles, Derek is awesome, Emotional, Happy Ending, Hospital, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, No Werewolves, Nurse Derek, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Please Do Not Read This If Easily Triggered, Punching, Scott Punches People, Scott and Stiles are bros, Signs of Depression, Stiles Doesn't Want Help, Stiles Goes To The Hospital, Stiles is seriously injured, mention of asphyxiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 06:17:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2418110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohhitsanna/pseuds/ohhitsanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“There’s a patient,” she chocked on the words. “I <em>need</em> you to take care of him. He’s practically family,” she is crying now, half sobs forcing their way out of her throat and it’s a horrible sound that makes Derek want to step back, but her grip is still strong on his top. “They won’t let me back there with him, because I’m, well,” she scoffs, “Just look at me. You have to take care of him, you’re one of the best nurses here.” </p><p>Derek finds himself nodding before he even realizes he’s doing it. He’s not sure if it’s just blatant curiosity making him want to help or the fact that he’s never seen the strong Melissa McCall break down and almost beg Derek to take on a patient. Maybe a little bit of both, he decides. “Do you have his file?” she nods, handing him a thick manila folder with different colored paper sticking out of it everywhere, this patient must see be here a lot. <em>What the hell kind of name is that?</em> He can vaguely make out a ‘z’ somewhere in the name, but it mostly looks like a bunch of random letters. </p><p>“Stiles, do not call him anything but Stiles.” Melissa says, as if reading his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Was My Fault

**Author's Note:**

> *READ THE TAGS! THIS HAS DESCRIPTIONS OF STILES BEING ABUSED! IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU OR YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY!*  
> Some things aren't really described too graphic, but other things are.  
> You have been warned!
> 
> If I didn't tag something, please tell me!  
> Unbetaed, all the mistakes are mine.

“Nurse Hale!” Derek turned around to see the sight of Nurse McCall frazzled, her hair sticking out as if she couldn’t help but to tug at it, her eyes red ringed and filled with unshed tears, her mouth set in a grim line. She held onto his scrub top with such a force that Derek wasn’t sure if she was using him for support or what was going on. “There’s a patient,” she chocked on the words. “I _need_ you to take care of him. He’s practically family,” she is crying now, half sobs forcing their way out of her throat and it’s a horrible sound that makes Derek want to step back, but her grip is still strong on his top. “They won’t let me back there with him, because I’m, well,” she scoffs, “Just look at me. You have to take care of him, you’re one of the best nurses here.”

 

Derek finds himself nodding before he even realizes he’s doing it. He’s not sure if it’s just blatant curiosity making him want to help or the fact that he’s never seen the strong Melissa McCall break down and almost beg Derek to take on a patient. Maybe a little bit of both, he decides. “Do you have his file?” she nods, handing him a thick manila folder with different colored paper sticking out of it everywhere, this patient must see be here a lot. _What the hell kind of name is that?_ He can vaguely make out a ‘z’ somewhere in the name, but it mostly looks like a bunch of random letters.

 

“Stiles, do not call him anything but Stiles.” Melissa says, as if reading his mind. Derek looks back up at the nurse, her walls are already being put up and she looks very much like the strong beautiful and well put together woman she always looks like. “Page me if anything happens.” and with that she’s off, striding down the hall with a determination in her step, stopping at the nurse station briefly before going on her way again.

 

Derek glances back at the file in his hands and scribbles down ‘Stiles’ next to odd name. Stiles Stilinski. Stilinski. _Shit!_ Could this be the sheriff’s son? Derek looks over the file while he walks towards the elevator where the patients are kept for overnight observation. The file is filled with a years worth of various injuries, from broken bones to bruised, well everything! This kid has literally almost or has broke every bone in his body. Multiple concussions and some minor internal bleeding has occurred. Has the kid joined a gang or something?

 

He shakes his head as he enters the door to the kids room, nose still pressed into the thick folder. Does this kid realize how often he’s in the hospital? A cough startles him out of his thoughts and the file he’s still reading. A small slender kid - no man, clearly that’s not a kid - is sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, a soft smile curled on his lips and a very mischievous glint in his warm honey brown eyes. “You must be my nurse,” he says, voice a little hoarse, though Derek can’t imagine why.

 

“Hale. Nurse Derek Hale.” he replies, walking into the room quickly and picking up his chart. Multiple contusions to the head, bruising around the neck. Derek glances up over the clipboard to see Stiles neck, and sure enough there are hand shaped bruises there, already purple and ugly standing clear as day on his pale skin. There are more bruises littered down his body, the cart reads, but nothing is as serious as the ones around his neck and the blows the man took to the head. “You’ll have to stay overnight for observation.” Derek says in a voice, that he hopes, conveys no other option.

 

Stiles looks at him sharply, face hardening and a determined look on his face, it’s like he learned it from Melissa. “No i won’t. I know i can deny these sorts of things and i am. Give me whatever form i have to sign, i don’t care. I am not staying here.” his voice is hard, still a little raspy and Derek knows now that it’s from the person who tried to strangle him.

 

Derek places the chart back where it was at the end of the bed and holds the file out in front of him, opening it and flipping through a few pages. “You seem to be in the hospital a lot.”

 

Stiles blanches, a look of disgust falls upon his face. “No more than any other person, i suppose.” he replies after a while, mumbling it into the pillow he fell face first on.

 

Derek hums, still flipping through the pages, drilling them into his memory. “You’ve broken a lot of bones.”

 

“I’m a very clumsy person, you can ask my best friend, Scott.” he replies easily, the lie rolling off his tongue without a second thought.

 

“I see, you also have had quite a few concussions before. More than the average person, Stiles.” Stiles face simultaneously lights up and shuts down completely.

 

Stiles groans, “You’ve talked to Melissa haven’t you?” he flops down on the bed, sighing into his pillow loudly. “Dammit now I'm never going to leave!” he groans again, shifting into a more comfortable position.

 

“Do you want to tell me how to got those bruises around your neck?” Derek watches him carefully, making sure he can read the expression on Stiles face at all times. He doesn’t seem affected by the question, he seems more resigned like he already knew this was coming.

 

“Would you believe me if i told you i liked asphyxiation?” Derek quirks an eyebrow because of all the excuses he could have gotten that was not one that he expected, not in the slightest.

 

“Maybe, but now that you mention it, no. You don’t really strike me as the kind of guy who’s into that.” He glances through Stiles file again, trying to look at all the excuses he’s given the previous nurses, none of them really make since, and it’s blatantly obvious they are all lies and not even good lies. Stupid, silly lies, like it’s a game he plays. What’s the stupidest lie he can tell this time?

 

Stiles scoffs before saying, “You don’t know my kinks, maybe i like pain.” But Derek can tell otherwise, his voice is strained and he looks almost dead, he’s small too small to be healthy and his eyes have sunken in, dark black circles under his beautiful eyes.

 

Derek can see Stiles staring at the door behind him longingly, judging how fast it would take him to get to the door an run. “You won’t make it.” he sighs, not even bothering to look up at the boy, just going through his file still, reading off bad excuse, after bad excuse. “You can tell someone you know. Get some help, whatever they’re telling you, they don’t mean it. Whatever threats they tell you, it doesn’t matter once they are taken into custody.”

 

Stiles laughs a harsh not forced passed his chapped lips. “I know what i _can_ do,” he says, and oh right, his father is the sheriff after all, “but i also know that whatever you think is going on, isn’t going on.” he sits up now, face set with determination. “Don’t come in here, and look at me, and just judge because you have no idea what’s going on. I love my boyfriend, my boyfriend loves me. I did this,” he points to his neck. “We were just messing around.”

 

Derek nods like he believes him, “Then where is he?” Stiles shuts down at that, says nothing for a while, just stares at Derek with steely eyes. “If it was all just a game, why isn’t he here?”

 

“Work. He has work,” Stiles says and Derek doesn’t have to listen to his heartbeat to know that it was a lie. “He works very hard for us.”

 

Derek gives him a small smile. “Okay, well that settles that then. You can leave tomorrow morning. The doctors want to run a few more tests.” Then Derek turns and walks out of the room, not waiting to here if the boy has anything else to say. He wants to shake the kid, wants to yell at him until he just tells him it was his boyfriend ad it wasn’t an accident and then Derek wants to find the punk kid who hurt Stiles and hurt him tenfold. Derek shakes his head, because there is no reason for him to feel like that. He doesn’t even know Stiles. And Derek can’t help people that don’t want to be helped in the first place.

 

He finds Melissa at the nurse’s station, talking to the sheriff. A glance at his watch shows his shift ended half an hour ago and he can feel it, the tiredness deep in his bones and all he want is to sleep, to dream of better things, peaceful things and not skinny pale boys that he wants to help.

 

“Did he say anything?” Melissa asks when he approaches and hands her back the file. He shakes his head, he said nothing. “Of course not.”she sighs turning back to the sheriff, “Isn’t there something we can do?”

 

The sheriff looks worse for wear, eyes sad and a permanent frown placed on his face. “He’s twenty two, Melissa there is nothing i can do if he doesn’t tell me whats specifically going on. You know that. Has Scott been able to get through to him?”

 

Melissa drags a hand through her hair, “No, Stiles tells him the same thing he tells us.” she shakes her head sadly. “Why can’t he see this boy is killing him?”

 

“So it is his boyfriend?” Derek asks, then mentally cursing himself for blurting it out. The sheriff’s eyes are wide as he looks at Derek, a flash of hope crosses his face.

 

“He told you? That means you can make a report, we can start a case, ask his neigh-” Derek holds up a hand to stop him and the hope in his eyes instantly dies, Derek can’t help but feel like it’s his fault, even though it isn’t.

 

“Stiles told me nothing. I asked about the bruising around his neck, but he said they were just playing around.” Derek blushes, “He said they were, uhm, well - itsasexthing,” he mumbles all together, but somehow the sheriff still catches it and Derek can see the fire in his eyes.

 

“If that son of a bitch touched Stiles like that!” he stops and takes a breathe, and then seems to deflate. “Oh God, Stiles, what the hell did you get yourself into?” he mumbles the last part into his hands and Melisa is there to wrap him up in a hug.

 

“You can go now, Derek. I’ll take it from here.” Derek nods and begins to turn away, he can hear Melissa trying to sooth the sheriff, he’s never seen the man so broken.

 

“I’ll see him in the morning before he checks out.” Derek says before fully walking away, grabbing his things and heading to his apartment. His bed is a welcoming sight and after taking off his shoes he collapses into it. He dreams of pale skin and hollow eyes, screaming for help, but not being able to reach him fast enough. Dreams of painful cries and shouts for help only to go unanswered. Dreams of honey brown eyes staring at him with a twinkle in his eye, a smile on his lips. And then it’s over and his alarm is screaming at him and it’s almost time for another shift at the hospital.

 

Derek feels like he’s gotten no sleep at all, his mind keeps replaying the dreams - nightmares - over and over again, piercing cries burned into his memory. The coffee helps a little, he sips it as he walks to work, trying to get there as fast as he can before Stiles leaves, he just wants to see the kid once more before he leaves. Derek can’t seem to wrap his mind around _why_ he cares so much. Stiles is just another patient, just one of the faces he can add to his memory, so why does it hurt him so much that he doesn’t want help? Doesn’t want Derek’s help.

 

Stiles is sitting up in bed when he enters the room, the red and purple bruises are like a neon paint on his pale skin, but his eyes are bright as he looks up and sees Derek. “Ah, Derek, my favorite nurse!” he says cheerfully.

 

“Should i tell Melissa that?” Derek asks, walking further into the room and grabbing his chart from the end of the bed. “I don’t think she’d be too happy.”

 

Stiles chuckles softly and it’s so beautiful Derek can’t help the flutter in his stomach at the sound. “She’d be fine with it.” he shrugs. “She’s already my favorite stepmother.”

 

“She’s your only stepmother.” Derek replies, replacing his chart and beginning to check his vitals.

 

“That’s exactly why she’s my favorite, there’s no competition.” Derek grabs Stiles bony wrist in his hand to check his pulse, he could read the machine, but something compels him to touch Stiles before he leaves and possibly never sees him again. “So it’s safe to say she won’t mind being replaced as favorite nurse.” his eyes are bright and beautiful, nothing like the dark ones he looked into yesterday. “Nurse McCall wouldn’t bring me chocolate pudding, but you would, wouldn’t you Nurse Hale,” Derek wants to say no, no he would not, but the way he’s batting his long eyelashes at Derek, he’s finding it hard to actually express any words at all.

 

“Do you want chocolate pudding?” Derek’s already thinking of where it is, down in the cafeteria next to the jello and fruit snack things that Derek never touches. It’s only one so there should be some left.

 

“Nah,” he replies with a shake of his hand, “just wanted to see if you’d get me some.” He chuckles and Derek feels conflicted, he should not feel like this over some guy he just met. Some guy he met in the hospital because of his _abusive boyfriend!_

 

Derek steps away, dropping Stiles hand, that he was still holding, and making his way to the door. “You’re all set to leave. One of the nurses will come in and give you your discharge papers. I don’t want to see you here again, Stiles. Goodbye.” He walks out of the room before he can do something stupid like blurt out feelings he shouldn’t have, it’s better to just walk away.

 

***

 

Derek doesn’t see Stiles in a month and he thinks things are better, Melissa hasn’t said anything, so he figures maybe Stiles did get help, maybe he left that asshole who was abusing him and he’s doing better now. Derek fills his head with happy thoughts like this and the longer he goes without seeing Stiles in the hospital the better he feels about telling himself these things. But that all comes to a head one day.

 

It’s a slow night, nothing big has happened around town, so there;s no one really in the hospital except for some long term patients and a few who needed some things checked up. Derek just started his shift and is currently making his rounds when he hears the voice. The same voice that he plagued his thoughts and dreams, he rounds the corner to see Stiles standing at the nurses station. Melissa is hovering over him looking at his arm carefully, but Stiles has it held tightly to his chest and from the angles he’s at he can’t really see what’s wrong with it exactly, but he can see the blood dripping on to the floor and nothing good can come from that.

 

He walks closer, trying not to seem too eager about wanting to see what’s going on, but in the end his need to see wins out and he’s pushing past another nurse trying to see. Derek has to stop for a moment when he does get close enough to see whats happened. His forearm looks bent at an odd angle and Derek can see the white bone is sticking out, blood is stained on his shirt and Derek can see the tears falling down his rosy cheeks, his eyelashes clumped together, and his voice wobbly when he speaks to Melissa.

 

“Stiles,” he starts, but stops at the look Stiles sends him. Shock and embarrassment. Fear and little bit of sickness, his face looks green and Derek wonders if he should get a trashcan ready. “What happened,” he moves closer to the boy, trying to figure out how to help as soon as possible.

 

“It was my fault!” he yells out.”I - I fell!” he sobbing, clutching his broken arm to his chest which only seems more painful, but he’s not letting go. “It was my fault, i fell when i was walking, i tripped over a crack and i fell at an awkward angle! Derek, please, it was my fault!” Derek shushes him gently, coaxing him to let go of his arm so he an Melissa can take a look, someone brings in a gurney and they manage to get Stiles onto it with little struggle. “Please it was my fault.” he’s still crying, dragging in shaky breaths and hiccuping them out.

 

Derek nods as he holds up a syringe filled with a sedative he tells Stiles what hes doing as puts the needle into his arm. He can see Stiles relax as the medicine takes affect, his body instantly becoming lax and his eyes dropping. Melissa is barking orders at some people and they are now moving Stiles into a room to take x-rays and then set the bone and then put a cast on hopefully.

 

Derek and Melissa are waiting for the Doctor to come out and say everything is fine. Scott and the Sheriff joined them not long after, their worry together and Derek watches as they huddle together, the three of them, drawing comfort from each other and Derek has never felt more like an outsider, like he’s looking in on something he’s not supposed to. But for some reason Derek can’t find it in him to leave, he has be there when they let Stiles out, has to see him again and know that he’s fine.

 

What seems like is hours, but in reality is only maybe one or two hours, Stiles is brought into his own room, he’s still sleeping from the sedatives, but he’s okay and Derek can feel a weight of his chest as he watches the boy sleep. The bruises have almost all faded around his neck, there is just a few spots of yellow that are visible, and now there are a few cuts on his cheek, stark red on his white skin, there is a blue cast on his left arm and a few more bruises and cuts on his arms.Derek wonders what else he’d find on the boys body if he looked.

 

“Did he say anything?” the sheriff asks, not even bothering to look up at the two nurses in the room, he just stares at Stiles unmoving body.

 

Scott scoffs from where he’s leaning against the window on the opposite side of the room. “Does he ever?” there a clench in his jaw and a hard look in his eyes as he glances over at his best friend. “Does he ever say something that isn’t a lie anymore?”

 

Nobody looks shocked at Scott’s outburst. “We need to do something. He’s going to kill Stiles!” Nobody says anything still and Scott just looks back out the window. The sun is shining brightly into the room and it seems so off, the skies should be crying for Stiles.

 

“We can’t do anything,” the sheriff says. He grabs Stiles good hand and squeezes before letting go. “If he doesn’t say something we can’t do anything.” Scott moves out of the room, not saying anything else as he walks past them all.

 

“He should wake up soon,” Melissa says gently, placing her hand on the sheriff’s shoulder. “Derek will take care of him once he does.” she looks up at Derek and he nods. “Come on sheriff he’s in good hands.”

 

Derek watches as they leave together, the sheriff’s boots dragging along the floor. Once they are out of the room Derek doesn’t know what to do, he grabs his chart and looks it over, nothing is out of the ordinary. He checks his vitals, but everything is once again, fine. He just decides to sit in the chair next to him, not really wanting Stiles to be alone when he does wake up.

 

“Dr’k?” Derek’s head snaps up to see Stiles blinking his owlish eyes at him slowly, his voice is sleep rough and a little scratchy. “Wha happn’d?” he tries to sit up, putting pressure on the arm with the cast and stares down at in in confusion. Derek watches as the realization dawns on him and he lays back down on the bed. He closes his eyes for a few moments and just breathes in deeply. “It’s not what you think.” he says softly.

 

Derek stands up, moving over to grab his chart and flip through the pages. “He cracked your Ulna bone in half, do you remember that?”

 

Stiles gets a glassy look in his eyes, trying to recall the memory back. “It wasn’t him Derek.” he all but hisses out. “I did it, like i told you. I’m very clumsy, ask Scott. Ask anyone.”

 

Derek nods, rubbing at his temples where he can feel a headache coming on. “Scott doesn’t think you’re doing this to yourself.”

 

He groans, “You’ve talked to Scott too!? This is starting to get creepy, you know. You’re just inserting yourself into my friends and families life and that’s not cool.”

 

“I know your mother from work and Scott and your father from you being here so really, it’s kind of your fault.” Stiles shoots him incredulous look. “Unless your not the reason you’ve been in the hospital and someone else is to blame.”

 

“No you are right. It’s my fault, it’s always my fault.” his voice is hollow, eyes distant again and he’s staring down at his arm in the cast. Derek feels a pang in his chest at the boys words, but can’t dwell on it long because he can hear yelling coming from the hallway. He gives Stiles a look that hopefully conveys ‘stay here’ and he’s moving towards the door, flinging it open and rushing down the hall where he can see two bodies on the floor.

 

One on top of the other, straddling the boys side’s preventing him from moving as the boy on top reigns in the punches, throwing them quick and hard. Derek only hesitates a moment before he’s wrapping the boy up around the torso and hauling him away. The boy on the floor is holding his nose and Derek wonders if it’s broken, but then there are nurses crowding around him and he finally sees that the boy he’s holding is Scott and his knuckles are bloody and a little bruised.

 

“That’s the asshole that abuses Stiles!” Scott yells, more down the hall than to Derek, but Derek feels a fire in his chest and part of him wants to go down there and continue to do what Scott started. Derek glances around and he can see Stiles staring down the hall a frown on his face and his bottom lip caught between his teeth, he looks absolutely terrified. He catches Derek’s eye and he motions for him to go back into his room, surprisingly he compiles.

 

“Let’s get your hand fixed up.” Derek says, already moving to grab bandages and sterilizer and beginning his work on his hand. He’s finished by the time Melissa finds them and begins scolding her son, but her attempts are only halfhearted. She’s already informed them that Scott had indeed broken Luke’s nose and the doctor had already put it back in place. Derek couldn’t help but feel happy that the little shit got hurt.

 

He walked back into Stiles room with Scott trailing after him, Stiles was sitting on the bed, pressed tightly against Luke’s side, his hand held in what looked like a painful grip, but if Stiles was in pain he wasn’t showing it.

 

“Stiles says he’s ready to head home.” Luke informs them, the sheriff is already in the room, taking in the scene with tired eyes. “Isn’t that right Stiles?” He pulls Stiles closer to him, forcing the boy to bump into his shoulder.

 

“Yes. Nurse Hale, I'm ready to go home. Nothing else needs to happen right?” Derek can hear the almost robotic tone he uses, not meeting any ones eyes, he’s just staring down at where their hands are intertwined.

 

Derek can’t think of a good enough reason for him to stay, but he racks his brain anyways, trying to come up with some sliver of a lie that sounds at least plausible, but in the end nothing comes to mind. “You can go home, I’ll get your papers.”

 

He can see Luke smirking in triumph, “See babe, all is well.” he turns to face Stiles and places a hand on Stiles cheek, Derek doesn’t miss the way he flinches back a little. “I love you, so much.” he says fiercely before he’s slamming his lips against Stiles’ in a bruising kiss that looks on the verge of being painful. He pulls away with a dark smile on his lips. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting the papers?” he turns to glare at Derek, not taking his hands off Stiles and it’s then that he realizes he’s been staring with his fist balled up at his sides.

 

He leaves the room without another word taking his sweet time to get Stiles paperwork together and doing everything else he can think to do before actually going in there with the papers. Stiles leaves with Luke and Derek pretends he isn’t hurting as much as he is. He feels bad for Stiles, he doesn’t want him to keep getting hurt, but he won’t let anybody help him and Derek doesn’t know what to do from here.

 

***

 

Derek doesn’t see Stiles for a while, but he doesn’t dare hope that Stiles is okay, that things are better in his life. He’s just glad that he hasn’t seen Stiles in a few weeks and that hopefully means that Luke has stop beating him too roughly. He’s out one day, on one of the only days he has off and he decides to go get some coffee, good coffee and there is a place down the street from his apartment that makes the best coffee he’s ever had.

 

The coffee shop smells heavenly and he intakes a huge breathe, the girl behind the counter is smiling at him and Derek wishes he could like her, shes pretty; brown wavy hair that falls down her back, pretty blue eyes that sparkle in the artificial light, she’s very pretty, but Derek can’t help but notice that she’s a little more tan than Stiles and she doesn’t have any moles and her lips aren’t a cupid’s bow and he just couldn’t see dating her.

 

“Hello sir,” she says happily, eyeing him hungrily. “How can i help you today?”

 

“Can i have a large white chocolate coffee, please?” She smiles and counts out his change on his receipt she leaves him her number, but he can’t really focusing on it because when he turns around he can see Stiles and Luke walking in the coffee shop, hand in hand. Stiles is looking up at Luke like he hung the moon and Derek can almost pretend that they are a happy couple except he can see new bruises peeking up from under his shirt. Stiles doesn’t see him at first, but Luke does and he glares at Derek, he can see the fire in his eyes. Stiles questions his and then finally turns and sees Derek, his face goes blank and Derek can see Luke’s grip tighten on Stiles uninjured hand.

 

“Nurse Hale,” Stiles finally says as they walk into the shop further. “How are you?” His voice sounds strained and he keeps glancing up to Luke to see him scowling.

 

“You can call me Derek, Stiles. I’m fine, how’s your arm? Is it healing okay?” Derek watches Luke’s face carefully, looking for a sign that he cares or that he feels bad for hurting Stiles, but he remains painfully stoic.

 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” Stiles smiles a little, “Melissa says it’s healing just fine, i had an x-ray the other day and it’s okay.”

 

“Great, that’s awesome.” Derek can’t help the smile that plasters itself onto his face. “You want to have a coffee with me?”

 

Stiles falters, his facade slips a little as he looks up wide eyed and fearful at Luke. “I don’t think we have time for that, do we Stiles? Don’t we have to go see your dad?”

 

“O-oh, yeah right. Sorry Derek, we don’t have time for that. Silly me, I'm always forgetting things.” he laughs softly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Luke’s always reminding me of things.”

 

Derek can see Luke’s grip on Stiles hand slowly get tighter and Derek wonders how much force it would take until he breaks Stiles bones like that. “Well then, maybe another time.” Derek says, grabbing his coffee and walking to a nearby table. He can hear Luke’s whispered yelling and Stiles glances back at him one last time before they leave the coffee shop.

 

***

 

It’s a few days later that Derek’s world turns upside down. It’s about two in the morning, he’s on the night shift again and his mind is racing with thoughts of Stiles. He wonders how the boy is doing and tries to determine if it would be okay to ask Melissa about him or if that would seem to creepy. In the end he winds up not asking her, but only because there is an ambulance pulling up to the hospital and in that moment the person in side it triumphs over thoughts of Stiles.

 

The EMT’s rush the body in, there is blood everywhere and there is a lot of yelling, the two men rolling the body in are trying to get the person back to breathing again and Derek steps up to the person, eyes raking over the damage that he can see. There is at least a few broken ribs that he can see bulging under his skin, major cuts across his torso, both old and new. The scars are ugly and make Derek want to reach out and touch, to comfort in some way. There is glass shards protruding from his body and Derek sets to work getting those out as they move down the corridors. He can see angry lines around the guys neck, cuts that are deep, but not deep enough to kill only harm. He finally looks at the mans face, which is covered in bruises, one eye swollen shut and more glass shards in his scalp, the one eye that is open is blank and staring at the ceiling above them and Derek can see the three little moles by his mouth and its - its Stiles.

 

Oh God, its Stiles.

 

This is Stiles.

 

Derek feels like he needs to stop, maybe throw up a little, maybe just do something else besides look at Stiles crumpled form laying unmoving on the gurney. He looks down and can see the bright blue cast on his arm, _how did he miss that?_ It looks like it needs replacing from how much blood has gotten on it, and there is blood everywhere, so much blood it amazes Derek that Stiles is still conscious. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s telling himself to stop thinking about it, to just go on like this is just another person he’s trying to fix.

 

But it’s not just another person. Its _Stiles_.

 

They don’t let Derek help with the major parts of Stiles. He started crying and he couldn’t really say when that began. Melissa had to take him away, wrap her arms around him until he stopped fighting her to get to Stiles. She cried. They cried together. Weeping for the man. Derek doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he remembers being woken up. Scott shook him little force and it startled him out of his nightmares, flailing a little so that he almost punched Scott, but he was okay.

 

The doctors are only letting Stiles dad back into his room and Derek knows that means something serious is wrong. Derek cries again, this time on Scott’s shoulder. His whole body wracking with sobs and wrenching horrible notes out of his chest. Derek tries to think back on the day that Stiles crept up into his heart like this, where it got to the point where he was crying over him. Derek thinks it was probably the first time he saw him, those beautiful owl eyes sparkling with mischief. He was so broken and yet so strong, so beautiful in his pain. So strong, not letting anyone see it. Derek cried until he fell asleep again.

 

This time when he woke up he is alone, well not really alone since there were always people in the hospital, but he couldn’t find Melissa or Scott. Looking at his watch he could see that it was two p.m. He had slept through his shift and it would be a miracle if he didn’t lose his job for this. He picked himself up, stretching out his sore limbs from sleeping in an awkward position on a small chair. His back cracks loudly and he lets out a sigh of relief, then he’s on a mission, first for coffee and then for Stiles. He’d be dammed if he wasn’t going to see the boy.

 

The coffee tasted like shit, but then when doesn’t it? The first part of the mission is complete and now on to the second one, the more difficult one. He tries to find Stiles file at the nurse’s station, but it’s not there and Derek knows what that means. He heads up to the top floor, to the ICU wing of the hospital. Nancy, the nice curly haired nurse, greets him tiredly, she must be pulling a double shift, he nods curtly at her and then proceeds to find Stiles folder. It’s not difficult there are only a few patients up here and Stiles has the room on the right.

 

Derek opens the door, the room is small leaving space for only one chair on the left side of the room, the other side filled with various machines. Stiles is leaned up a bit on the bed, his eyes are shut and Derek could almost pretend he was sleeping if not for the tube going down his throat, helping him to breathe, one of his broken ribs must have punctured a lung. He can see colorful bruises that paint his skin where the material of the hospital gown doesn’t cover. Derek doesn’t know what to do with his hands, they hang uselessly at his sides and he feels like he’s cried too much and no tears make their way out of his eyes. He feels so lost, staring at this boy, who just a few months ago he didn’t know and now it’s like he’s wormed a way into Derek’s heart without even trying, hell probably without meaning to! Derek stands at the foot of his bed and watches him, watches the machines help him breathe and watch his vital signs, everything looks normal, but that doesn’t make Derek feel any better.

 

“He’s in a medically induced coma,” a deep voice startles him, he jumps in place. “They said there was too much swelling in his brain and they aren’t sure what’s going to happen when he gets out of it.” Derek nods, the doctors are never 100% when it comes to the brain, such a fickle thing.

 

“I - he, i didn’t mean to intrude.” Derek says, not bothering to look back at the sheriff, lest he kicks him out and it’s the last time Derek can see Stiles.

 

“I don’t care.” He hears the sheriff sigh. “Melissa and Scott have already been up here and i think its good - they said its good - if he has people with him. They can sometimes hear other people while in a coma, did you know that?” Yes, Derek did know that, but he doesn’t say anything as the sheriff continues, holding a one sided conversation with himself.

 

“Did you get him?” Derek cuts off the sheriff, he was talking about something, something Stiles did when he was young and Derek couldn’t get his mind off of what happened to the asshole that did this to Stiles.

 

“I can’t do anything Derek. Not without proof.” Derek arches an eyebrow and looks between the sheriff and Stiles. He sighs, dragging a hand down his face. “Yes, yes, i know that this should be proof enough, but it isn’t, okay? Luke said he had an alibi about his whereabouts tonight and my men are still trying to figure out if it’s solid or not, we are trying our best.” He gives Derek a look that says he’s done with the conversation and Derek lets it drop. “Well, I'm going to get a coffee want one?”

 

Derek shakes his head, a plan already forming in his mind. If the sheriff’s department isn’t going to do anything about this, well Derek will just have to take matters into his own hands. Once the sheriff has left Derek grabs Stiles file, flipping pages until he sees it, Stiles address.

 

Stiles apartment in on the other side of town and Derek drives like a bat out of hell. The streets are eerily empty and Derek doesn’t doubt that the sheriff has every guy on his force trying to break Luke’s alibi. Derek more or less just wants to break his face and various other bones on his body. The apartment complex he pulls up to is nice, one of the nicer ones in Beacon Hills. And now that Derek is standing outside the building, clutching his car keys, he questions himself. What is he doing here? Is he really going to break this kids bones because Stiles is in the hospital?

 

Then after a moment of hesitation, Derek is climbing the stairs, his adrenaline rushing.

 

Derek doesn’t really recall much after Luke opens the door, he sees a lot of red, some black from where he assumes he blacks out. He can feel himself being punched in the face, was that a kick to the ribs? But he can feel himself landing punches, his fist landing blows on the guy. He can feel himself push Luke against the wall, banging his head in a few times. Then Derek’s being pushed away, stumbling back and Luke takes his opening, sending Derek to the floor and punching him until Derek manages to flip them, straddling his waist and landing blows, feeling Luke’s bones crunch and break under his hands.

 

“Derek! Derek!” He can hear his name being called distantly, but the only thing he’s focused on is where he’s punching Luke, making him feel just like Stiles did. He can feel hands trying to stop them, but pushes whoever it is aside and continues hitting. How could this asshole think it’s okay to hurt Stiles? “Derek, you’re going to kill him! Derek you need to get off!”

 

_Derek, Derek, Derek._

 

He’s trying to stop, he is really, but all he can see is Stiles broken body, lying in that hospital bed, possibly dying and how could he stop? How could Derek stop hurting him, when if he was given an opportunity he would hurt Stiles all over again and he can’t. Derek can’t ever let that happen again. He _won’t_ ever let that happen again.

 

Multiple arms are dragging him away, lifting him up and forcing him away while he’s still swinging his fists through the air. Once he realizes that they’re not connecting with anything he stops, tries to catch his breathe from the over exertion. His breathing is labored and he can sense that he’s riding down in an elevator, he blinks a few times to clear his head and too make sure that his vision is no longer blurry. He can see Scott across the elevator and two other deputies, they all looked scared and a little wary of Derek, no one was really standing close to him, but in a small elevator there wasn’t much room.

 

No one says anything as the elevator reaches the ground floor, but the deputies grab his arms, walking him over to the squad cars, then he’s being handcuffed, frisked, and being read his rights. Once they are finished they place him inside the car, one of the men actually looks sorry as he’s holding Derek’s head and helping him in. Scott tries to come and talk to him, but the officer who seemed nice told him now with a stern face and a squeeze to the shoulder. Derek could see only a few other squad cars and the sheriff’s car. There was an ambulance and Derek can’t find it in him to care that he has hospitalized someone. He stares down at himself, his blue hospital scrubs are drenched in blood, his own and Luke’s, and it makes his shirt an ugly brown color. His nose is throbbing as well as his head, now that he’s had time to stop. Moving around he can feel a pain in his side and there is a sharp sting in his elbow, but he can’t tell if that’s from the handcuffs or not.

 

The ride to the station is both pleasant and unpleasant. The officer who had put him in the car - Parrish - was nice enough. He told Derek that while what he did was stupid, he was happy that someone had finally given that kid what he deserved. Parrish was very good friends with Stiles and the Sheriff. Derek didn’t talk at all, his thoughts were still going crazy, thinking of Stiles to being arrested for _nearly killing someone_ , to how bad his own injuries were, and right back to Stiles. He wondered if h had woken up yet, if they had even tried to wake him up yet from the swelling, wondered who was watching over him and if it was that black haired lady that had night shifts, because she could be seriously rude and Derek would not stand for someone to be rude to Stiles, coma or not. His thoughts were still racing when he was escorted into the building and placed in a cell.

 

Scott came in then, eyes frantic and rubbed red from crying. He was pulling at his hair as he walked in and gave Derek a watery smile. “You are absolutely crazy you know that right?”

 

Derek scoffed, but didn’t deny it. He was crazy he beat someone to a pulp, because he had beat someone _he barely knew._ Apparently he was more invested in the Stilinski kid that he thought he was. “Have you heard anything about Stiles?”

 

“Figures,” Scott muttered, walking up to the bars and placing his face against them, “You’re in a jail cell and all you can think about is his well being.”

 

“His well being is kind of the reason I'm in this predicament now isn’t it?” Scott laughed, a small chuckled that lit up his eyes for a moment.

 

“True. He woke up, the swelling went down surprisingly fast and since the tube has been taken out of his throat and he can talk again, he has quite a few choice words for you.” Derek winced, that did not sound good. “He’s better, they don’t expect any long term affects, other than his concussion that he will always have to be cautious of. And you know, the mental scarring of almost being killed.” Yeah, that can cause some damage. Scott stood up straight, face moving away from the bars as he stared at Derek straight in the eyes. “Stiles is strong. Really strong. And you,” he jabbed a finger in Derek’s direction, “you don’t need to prevent him from healing. He needs to do it alone, so he won’t be dependent on someone else, that’s why he’s in the shitstorm that he is in. Got that?” Derek nodded slowly, still trying to process everything. “I’m sure you’re a great guy Derek, but you should stay away from Stiles.” And then Scott was gone and Derek was alone again. He figured a few hours of sleep would do him so good, maybe stop him from thinking so much.

 

***

 

Derek woke in a white room, he had to open and close his eyes to make sure he wasn’t imagining not being at the station anymore. He could hear a heart monitor beeping steadily and could hear the sounds of hushed voices. His head felt like a truck had hit him full force and then backed over him a couple of times and upon further inspection he could see he had a cast on from his elbow down.

 

“Oh, look, look he’s awake!” a happy voice came from the left side of him, Laura. Laura was standing there, looking as fierce as always, a happy smile on her face. “Yay! You’re alive!” she cheered, throwing her arms up in happiness.

 

“Thank God, what would do without our precious Der-Bear?” Cora says mockingly from the corner of the room.

 

“Yeah, thanks Cor, no sympathy for the injured.”

 

She scoffs, sipping coffee out of a little Styrofoam cup, making a disgusted face down at it. “Maybe i would be a bit more sympathetic, if i hadn’t received this call at two in the morning, Jesus Derek, what the actual hell? You’re fucking crazy you know that right?”

 

“What she means to say,” Laura interrupts his little sister, “Is that she’s glad you are okay and that she misses and loves you.”

 

“ _No_ ,” Cora says angrily, throwing her cup down, “What i mean is you are fucking crazy Derek. You nearly beat a guy to death! And for what? A guy!?” she rolled her eyes, “Forgive me if I'm not as levelheaded as our dear sister here.”

 

“Cora, stop being like that!” Laura yells and it makes his headache that much worse.

 

“Both of you stop, God. Why did they even call you guys?” He sighs running a hand through his hair, pulling on the ends a bit. “Just go, will you? My head fucking hurts and i don’t need to get bitched at about something i felt was right. So just go!” He doesn’t mean to shout, but everything in his head is jumbling together and he just noticed the hand that isn’t in a cast is handcuffed to the bed and he just can’t deal with this shit.

 

“Derek we just,” Laura stops and looks on the verge of tears which only makes Derek feel worse that he already does for yelling at his sisters. “we just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

“You might have, but Cora just wants to torment me a little bit more. If you haven’t noticed I'm handcuffed to the bed,” he jingles the cuff a little, metal hitting metal. “I don’t need any more torment from either of you.”

 

“Why’d you do it?” Cora asks after a few minutes of silence, Derek has closed his eyes and opens them at her words.

 

“Because,” he hesitates, what could he say? “I don’t know, honestly. I just - someone had to do something.”

 

No one says anything after that and Derek goes back to sleep. The dreams are horrible, he sees everything that happened during the blackout, he watched his fists collide with Luke’s face over and over and over again. Watched the blood flow out of his body with no regret. He awoke with a silent cry, forcing his body upright in his small bed, the handcuff pulling on his wrist.

 

“The nightmares never go away.” Derek, startled, turns to see Stiles sitting on the chair next to him, all freshly cleaned and in normal clothes, they cover all the bruises not on his face and his long sleeved plaid shirt is pushed up on one side to accommodate his cast. His face is still bruised and there are cuts on his lower neck that Derek hadn’t noticed before. “They only get worse, i think.” Stiles beaten up converse squeak on the floor as he gets up to move closer to Derek.

 

“I’m sorry.” is the first thing he blurts out and he mentally curses himself for that.

 

Stiles just laughs weakly, holding his side a bit once he’s finished. “Yeah, everyone says that.” he shrugs, “It’s my fault though, isn’t it?” Derek begins to shake his head and open his mouth to protest, but Stiles holds a finger out to tell him to be quiet. “It is, I'm not mad at anyone but myself. I had plenty of opportunities at the beginning to leave, of course it wasn’t _this_ bad at the beginning. But,” he shrugs as if to say what can you do. “I hate myself for not getting out and i hate myself even more for not telling someone - my Dad - about what was going on. Now look at us,” he motions between them, “I don’t want a knight in shining amour, Derek. I don’t want someone to think I'm weak because i let my boyfriend abuse me to the brink of death. I am not weak, Derek Hale.” he pushes his finger into Derek’s chest. “You don’t need to, i don’t know, defend my honor or something - whatever the hell you thought you were doing - I don’t need it.”

 

“I don't think you’re weak. I think you’re very strong.”

 

Stiles faltered, the fight going out of his eyes as he pulled his finger back. “Well, good.” he sighs, sitting back down into the chair, shifting a bit to get comfortable. “You didn’t kill him.” he says softly.

 

“That’s not really something i want to talk about.”

 

Stiles nods easily. “My dad’s going to get the charges to drop, it won’t be easy, of course, but he’s going to try his hardest. One of my best friends, Lydia, she’s a hotshot lawyer, she’s going to be handling your case, so you’re in good hands. Hopefully you’ll never have to go to court for this.”

 

Derek nods, although that’s not really something he wants to talk about either. “Have you seen my sisters?”

 

“Hmm?” Stiles looks up, tilting his head a little. “Oh the girls that were in here, yeah they left when i walked in. Mumbled something about Derek and cute guys and fighting,” he shrugs, “I don’t know.”

 

Derek nods again, closing his eyes again, he just needs to rest them for a second. A second turns into almost a full day. Derek wakes up to Laura in the room by herself, smiling softly at Derek.

 

“Hey baby bro, they took the cuffs off.” Derek glances at his wrist, which is now, thankfully, void of the metal cuffs. “They say you can leave today. Everything looks good, you could come stay with my and Cora for a while.”

 

Derek thinks about that, staying with Laura and Cora would be nice, if not a little hectic, but then what about his job? Did he even have a job anymore? Should he just start over in a new town with his sisters? But then what about Stiles? What about Stiles? A harsh thought crosses his mind, he has nothing with Stiles.

 

“I - I don’t know.” Derek says after a while. Laura’s frowning, but covers it up a little by thrusting a bottle of water into his hand.

 

“Just think about it, okay? Cora and I have the room and we miss you. New York is fun, i know you hate people, but really it’s not so bad and you’d be with us, with your family.” _Family_. That hits Derek hard. This is where his family used to be, this is where he wants to be, but he has to admit being away from his sisters had taken it’s toll, he misses them crazily. Laura walks out of the room with the promise of food to come.

 

“New York, huh?” Stiles walks in right after Laura leaves, like he’s planned it. He whistles, “That’s a big city.”

 

“Laura loves the people and Cora loves the atmosphere,” Derek shrugs. “But i don’t know. I hate people and it just doesn’t scream home to me.”

 

“And Beacon Hills does?”

 

Derek thought it just might.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can always send me prompts on [Tumblr](http://thewolvesaregone.tumblr.com)


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